Make the magic happen. Kate Bowler:Yeah, the indignity. A phrase that I heard at a recent Pecha Kucha talk from a woman who had come through a terrible health crisis was Its like this now. Maybe Wills curious phrase, Its like this, applies here too. Shed do dishes all day and into the night to just get to listen to her children, just to get to watch them through a one-way glass, you know? So, God is generous was my dads way of promising us a better future. Kelly Corrigan:Its like a game changer. For every graduate from kindergarten to PhDs -- but especially the kids The Best Show with Tom Scharpling. Then I wanted to get right with him, and urgently. Hopefully youve continued to connect with Kate and Kellys books. Ten days before I was scheduled to defend my dissertation, English Policies, Curricular Reform and Teacher Development in Multilingual, Post-colonial Djibouti, I got the call. 'Think Twice' podcast examines Michael Jackson's legacy : NPR You can follow the conversation with Kelly on Instagram @kellycorrigan. Describing the middle school drama teacher as the first person who believed in her, she imparts her gratitude for him coming to her defense as a young student. Its completely random. Kelly Corrigan:And thats the truth. Kate Bowler:Todays episode is brought to you by our partners, North Carolina Public Radio WUNC, the Lilly Endowment, The Issachar Fund, The John Templeton Foundation, Faith and Leadership: An Online Learning Resource, and Duke Divinity School, and of course, Beverly Abel, Jessica Richie, and Be the Change Revolutions. Its so that they can identify some critical difference between you and them that makes them feel like they can exhale again. Its not in my family. I dont have the genetic predisposition. I mean, I dont know why you went with, Everything Happens for a Reason, because Dont get crumbs on the baby, that could be the follow up. Take Care Kate, Kate Bowler:Yeah. Join New York Times bestselling author Kelly Corrigan as she choreographs big-ideas conversations with some of the creative thinkers and artists who define our time. Thanks for sharing, Diane! May you find Christ, comfort, and companions amidst the questions! Required fields are marked *. Today, were sharing this letter which Mary Hope wrote to officially introduce Alex because we find the kindness, transparency and unconditional love in it to be so inspiring. Kelly Corrigan:Like, almost every time Im sure that if you just let me take over, I can make this problem go away. Kelly Corrigan:The magic of Tell me more is you start telling me what youre upset about, and I fall for the first thing you say, and I start solving for that. Kelly Corrigan:Yeah. Kelly Corrigan:So, I had to wait, and then finally we had a window, and I said, I was wrong. Were just a series of days and interactions. The name is a lyric from . Yeah. They thrill, and confound, and circle, and overflow, and disappear, because its like this, having a life.. Kelly Corrigan:Youre feeling like ABC, not DEF. So thats the beauty of it. Kilpy I went to see her one time. Im so glad youve been plugging in and hope to keep hearing your feedback! Kareem means generous. Kelly Corrigan:I was perhaps proud about it honestly, and I was reading 7 Habits of Highly Effective People at night with my big fat yellow highlighter, and I was really full of attachment to this identity that I had painted for myself. Id say that there is definitely such a thing as a questioning Christian. Labels like chronic illness, or caregiver, or widow, or mom of a kid with special needs. Kelly Corrigan:Im telling you what, man, you can not believe how much I use this, and you can not believe how still it is not my natural instinct. Kelly Corrigan:I mean, thats where it is. For the Love Podcast - Jen Hatmaker Jennifer Garner tells Kelly Corrigan how she inspires others to find their true passions. Kelly Corrigan:Have you ever heard that potted plant theory? Kate Bowler:Yeah. To learn more about Tell Me More: Stories about the 12 Things Im Learning to Say, click here. You also realized there was incredible parenting magic in the phrase, Tell me more. So, what is this witchcraft you speak of? Thats my other life mantra. Both Kate and Kelly are remarkable women and in tandem they make for great listening. The reach of language can be laughable.. When bestselling author Kelly Corrigan experienced the death of her dad and dear friend back-to-back, she couldnt shake the feeling that she wasnt living as gratefully as she wanted to. I absolutely love that phrase. You wrote this book in a season of incredible loss. I went to see her one time. The result is "Think Twice: Michael Jackson," a 10-part podcast from Audible and Wondery that will be available exclusively on Audible and Amazon Music on Thursday. I think we should be talking about five percent of the time. Copyright 2023 Public Broadcasting Service (PBS), all rights reserved. He was saddled with depression and anxiety, which led to his trying to make himself feel better and reduce the noise in his head. This beautiful eulogy helps to paint the full picture of Ryland: a unique combination of funny, stubborn, difficult and smart. Kelly Corrigan:Yeah. This episode was wonderful, wasnt it? My mantra for the last decade plus has been show up and be of use. Having interviewed Christy on her podcast, A Slight Change of Plans, Maya shares her story of being a female firefighter and her difficult decision to eventually prioritize her mental health over her job. Your email address will not be published. I was also living only maybe 10 miles from my very old grandma who lived alone, and I kept kind of meaning to go visit her, but its a lot easier to show up at work every day at the United Way, and get kind of righteous about all the people who work for money versus the rest of us who are working for the greater good, than it is to go to your grandmas smelly, weird apartment, and have weird conversations with an 88-year old, you know? We can remove the first show in the list to add this one. I even use it at the end of lectures like, Hey, this is the end of the 19th century. Kate Bowler:My life doesnt exactly fit into neat categories anymore. I always asked her this when I wondered if I was handsome in any way. The Honor and Weight of of Being a Role Model. Like, Today could be this day, well, you know, today I met you, now were friends, and who knows whats going to happen now? Like, Im just an ordinary person, and I make all the mistakes that everybody else makes and maybe even 10% more, and then there she was, and what she would have done for the life that I was kind of rushing through, multitasking my way through day, after day, and you know, sort of feeling snappish, and then catching myself, and feeling like I should be different. Youre giving these beautiful phrases, and each of them feels like a kind of roadmap, and you start with one that really resonated deeply with me. The ambiguity is quite isolating. Kate Bowler:Im Kate Bowler, and this is Everything Happens. We only book nice people who have a sense of humor and know things worth knowing. Thats like total vanity but, especially with the kids, I definitely think, Edward and I both think, If you let us run this out for you, well get it done like one, two, three, and thats so humiliating, and degrading, and just the opposite of self-esteem building, which is sort of like the ground we walk on as adults. Your mantra is fantastic and is sounds like it has served you well through the years! He had things to do for days, and days, and days, and eulogies to write, and people to hug, and people to thank, and accounts to close, and cars to sell, and he had work to do, both emotional and just literally logistics. Kelly also hosts her own podcast Kelly Corrigan Wonders, which she describes as a "place for people who like to laugh while they think." On the podcast, she tackles a different question every month in a series of weekly conversations with some of her favorite thinkers. Teri Rose wrote this loving remembrance of her son Ryland. I mean, Im totally coming to see you. But I asked the doctor what the right term for me might be, and he said Survivor-in-progress, which was super annoying. I mean, its a little bit like, Just keep saying yes. You know, When in doubt, say Sure, Ill do that, just to see what happens next, just to see who you might meet. I was in a big, big rush to get in front of him, and say my apology, and be returned to a state of grace, but the fact is that his mom died. Everything Happens : NPR Diana, Kate Bowler:You and I are super chatty people, but you make an amazing pitch for silence, and I am all for it, because everyone always had these go-to things to say with me like, You can do it, or Youre so brave, and all the things that made me feel like I was on the other side of plexiglass. Kate Bowler:Getting back to life has been really tricky. Kate Bowler:Well, I accept. Kate is a young mother, writer and professor who, at age 35, was suddenly diagnosed with Stage IV cancer. One of the hardest things Ive been wrestling with is not having any clear language for this weird place between sick and healthy, weak and strong. You cant only experience deep gratitude at the toenails that you seriously wish someone else would have cut, because seriously, whos doing this around here? Its a sin, its hell. Absolutely enjoy these, the wisdom, the calm, the gentle reminder of our true reality and the essentiality of the connections we make and need to survive and help each other. Jewel and Kelly Corrigan have a conversation in NYC. It is a good reminder for me that I can lean into what its like now because change is always acoming. PBS is a 501(c)(3) not-for-profit organization. Yeah. And the potted plant theory, I cant credit it to someone, Im sorry, I dont know who put it out there, but the idea is that if you were to have a plant in your kitchen, you might not be aware of it at all, and then if someone were to remove it, youd say What happened to that plant?. Kate Bowler:Todays episode is brought to you by our partners, North Carolina Public Radio WUNC, the Lilly Endowment, The Issachar Fund, The John Templeton Foundation, Faith and Leadership: An Online Learning Resource, and Duke Divinity School, and of course, Beverly Abel, Jessica Richie, and Be the Change Revolutions. Oh, The People You'll Know!. Graduations, diminished though they may Sometimes, were just lacking a bit of language. You understand what you did wrong., Kelly Corrigan:So to me, that felt very different than saying, Im sorry. He is also the father to three great characters, including Dixie, who was killed in a head on collision in May of 2021. If you haven't heard of Father Greg Boyle, let us introduce you: a Jesuit priest who has a touch of Santa Claus in his affect, Greg Boyle has collaborated with thousands of former gang members to build thriving businesses and communities of radical acceptance in East LA. I was wondering if you could tell me about that. Click here for discussion questions for this podcast episode. I think people think that if you have a diagnosis, or somethings happened to you that you should know because youre proof of it. Kelly Corrigan:Dont get crumbs on the baby. Theres a title. Kelly Corrigan is a New York Times bestselling author whose first children's book, Hello World, is available now. I was wrong not to go visit her. Trust your Gut? with Annie Jean Baptiste - Kelly Corrigan Wonders (podcast) I hope you continue sharing your thoughts and joining in the conversation! We look forward to having you join in on future conversations! Kate Bowler:I guess Ill see you soon. Thank you for this. Hes just one of those people that you think, God, if I could get five minutes with him, Id just tell him my biggest problem, and hed just say something in seven words that would solve everything., Kelly Corrigan:So, eventually I went up to him, and I said, Im caught between these two worlds, this world where Im full of clarity and insight and gratitude, and Im seeing all the big colors of the world. Thank You for all you do!! Claire, Kelly Corrigan:You dont always need such a plan, or an agenda, or whatever. Kelly Corrigan Wonders on RadioPublic Kate Bowler:Oh friend. Kilpy Kelly Corrigan:And it wasnt my turn for his attention. So, I really appreciated the way that you framed the bigness and the smallness of it, because it has to be both. -Kilpy Kelly Corrigan:She cant wear half her clothes because she cant zip them by herself. Gratefully, Onwards, but you use it so beautifully when youre talking about Lizs family and how they are now. Yeah. Onwards! Embed. Youve shared some gems with us. For Dr. White was the first person who ever told Michael he could write. And the potted plant theory, I cant credit it to someone, Im sorry, I dont know who put it out there, but the idea is that if you were to have a plant in your kitchen, you might not be aware of it at all, and then if someone were to remove it, youd say What happened to that plant?. Kate Bowler:I need to hear what your motto is. Take care, Best, Kelly Corrigan:Yeah, and theres forgiveness and acceptance kind of intertwined there that you know, youre going to forget. Gratefully, I mean, I remember thinking, when I wasnt sure, when I was in an especially tough moment of illness, every time I would look at Zachs nails I would think, Is this what wouldve happened if I hadnt been here to do this? And you know, it was so weird, but dying was the easier part of it. Kelly Corrigan:So, my dad died in February, and then my friend Liz, whos the mother of three kids, 8, 10, and 12 at the time, died that December. Shes not going to hold their babies.. I was wrong not to try to ease her days in some way.. The successes of independent and feminist Marie Antoinette provoke jealousy and rivalry. Okay, but Im just telling you those kids are waking up every day without her, and theyre going to keep being without her forever. Kelly kicks off a new series on BELIEF, delving into topics like the meaning of life, finding purpose, why faith, service and gratitude matter, and more with Dr. MIchael Murray, former Philosophy Professor and current President & CEO of the Arthur Vining Davis Foundations . You are everywhere they are., Kelly Corrigan:I really believe that, even though Im skeptical, and Im mad at people who say, Her spirits still here, and stuff. Kate Bowler:Yeah, yeah, yeah. I didnt make her final days one bit better, and I lived there for two years. Theres meatless Mondays, and theres a kombucha bar, and theres nap pods. Kelly Corrigan:Yeah. Kate Bowler:Yeah, I believe you. Today, Im speaking with New York Times bestselling author, Kelly Corrigan. Kelly Corrigan Wonders: Kelly's Gratitude List on Apple Podcasts You cant only experience deep gratitude at the toenails that you seriously wish someone else would have cut, because seriously, whos doing this around here? I was also living only maybe 10 miles from my very old grandma who lived alone, and I kept kind of meaning to go visit her, but its a lot easier to show up at work every day at the United Way, and get kind of righteous about all the people who work for money versus the rest of us who are working for the greater good, than it is to go to your grandmas smelly, weird apartment, and have weird conversations with an 88-year old, you know? To learn more about Everything Happens for a Reason (and Other Lies Ive Loved) by Kate Bowler, click here. 00:35:25 - Annie Jean Baptiste in the Head of Product Inclusion at Google where she spends her time thinking about the products we use very day and how who's a Youre giving these beautiful phrases, and each of them feels like a kind of roadmap, and you start with one that really resonated deeply with me. You say something thats so weird cause I say it all the time, so when I read it I thought, Did you reach inside my brain? You adopted the phrase, Onward as a bit of a motto. I love it that it gives up perfectionism, and it just says, Hey, whats possible today?. She's an author. You are in good company. Its completely random. Episode 3: How to Fall in Love with Anyone - Greater Good Kelly Corrigan:So, she had to call someone and ask them to come over and zip her dress so she could go to the wedding. Im coming. One is called Yesterday and the other is called Tomorrow. Sometimes, were just lacking a bit of language. Kate Bowler:Today, I get a chance to talk to Kelly about some of her very best phrases. Shes not going to their wedding, shes not going to pick out wedding dresses with them. For awhile, Id say shed been robbed, or ripped off. You talk about not having good language for your current state. Kelly mentions the Potted Plant Theory of Parenting. But I asked the doctor what the right term for me might be, and he said Survivor-in-progress, which was super annoying. In other words, it could happen to you tomorrow.. It doesnt end, and also you cant live there. Corrigan and her guests dig into such questions as "Is knowing more always . How does change actually happen? I had to make it into a vest to remove it from my body with the tag still on it, you know? Tell Me More with Kelly Corrigan is a series that inspires, educates and entertains. Kelly Corrigan:I mean, thats where it is. An Evening with Kelly Corrigan EVENT PAGE - Lightways We should hold hands for a moment, as a way of marking the glory of a family dinner, and they do that. My son was, of course, distraught and felt the dog was a part of the family and worth the trouble. I found that instructive. Warmly, I think we make life a little more interesting! Onward, my dears. Together, Kate and Kelly explore the phrases we cling to in order to find deeper connection and meaning during difficult times. You could do worse than to live by that one. Wondering if youve come across Bahai writings as I find them inspiring in building a circle of friends, a community and help each other grow together. Rocky is family, and we dont sell family, I replied. We were living in Damascus, Syria, and whenever one of us asked for something Mom and Dad couldnt afford, Dad would say Allah Kareem. In Arabic, Allah means God. Leave a review on Apple Podcasts. You know, I honestly think I only say Im sorry, and not, I was wrong. I think I might try it. Im sorry I didnt go see your mom. Thats not the same as saying I was wrong not to try to know her. Shed do anything. So much of what you both say resonates for me. Inspiring and thought-provoking interviews conducted by author Kelly Corrigan. Kate Bowler:Thanks so much for doing this. I mean so far, knock on wood, Im getting to see my kids be much, much older than she got to see her kids be. I go, Oh, thank you for that bit of suggestion.. I mean, that was my big experience of your book. (As consciously lesbian from about four-years old, believe it or not, I preferred handsome to pretty.) Kate Bowler:I dont think Ill like it, but I will think of you when I do it. So, I kind of wondered if there was a motto youd pick for you for right now, what would it be? Kelly Corrigan:You know, that I had lost his favor for a moment, and I was just so ashamed. Stay healthy. Kelly Corrigan:So, I say at the end of this chapter, Shouldnt loss change a person for the better? Kelly Corrigan:My friend Andy Lotts, who is Lizs husband, told me about it, cause hes a mom now, and so we talk mom talk. Id love to hear more about what this means to you. I was wrong not to try to ease her days in some way.. Theres a whole world out there happening, and you can step into all kinds of things, and you dont need to know why youre leaving the house. Kelly Corrigan Wonders on Apple Podcasts All moments, days, chapters are transitory and the good ones leave us as do the bad ones. I guess everybody here, these children of mine and my husband, are just too damn busy to get on this, but Im not, so Ill do it, and then I was finishing, and I found a little pile of cut toenails on my kitchen table, and that. Despair defies description. So, I really appreciated the way that you framed the bigness and the smallness of it, because it has to be both. It kind of reminded me though, when I was little, my family used to have these mottos, but the mottos were stuff like, Dont get crumbs on the baby, or Be nice to mom. Kelly Corrigan:Thanks. Kelly Corrigan:And he said, Thats a way to be a parent, which is to say to be there, to be available, to be within view, but not necessarily inserting yourself, because even though as your kids get older and older, it feels like theyre looking for you less and less, it is sort of a comfort to glance over, and see you there, and feel you there, and they would most certainly notice if you werent. Kate Bowler:Wow, and thats a big word. Kelly Corrigan:And he said, Thats a way to be a parent, which is to say to be there, to be available, to be within view, but not necessarily inserting yourself, because even though as your kids get older and older, it feels like theyre looking for you less and less, it is sort of a comfort to glance over, and see you there, and feel you there, and they would most certainly notice if you werent. The idea that we just sort of wander around, consume things until we die, like were just a series of small appetites without any deep, rich, meaningful, satisfying connection. Kelly Corrigan:Yeah, and theres forgiveness and acceptance kind of intertwined there that you know, youre going to forget. So, thats just the question in front of all of us. Each episode ends with Kellys shortlist of takeaways, appropriate for refrigerator doors, bulletin boards and notes to your children. Kelly Corrigan:So, I say at the end of this chapter, Shouldnt loss change a person for the better? You might actually give somebody a chance to discover whats really bothering them, and in that discovery they might find their own solution, but the fact is that if you can bite your stupid tongue, and get over yourself, and just keep eliciting their whole story, then the next thing you know, their mood is changing, and theyre feeling more solution-oriented, and then they get the buzz of solving the problem. 5:55. Today, Im speaking with New York Times bestselling author, Kelly Corrigan. Then I wanted to get right with him, and urgently. So, Dont eat a hamster is our version of Dont jump to conclusions.. Kelly Corrigan:The magic of Tell me more is you start telling me what youre upset about, and I fall for the first thing you say, and I start solving for that. In, warm, insightful, often funny conversations, Kate talks with people about what they've. Tell Me More with Kelly Corrigan | Michael Lewis | Season 5 | Episode 1 It was because I had been selfish, and my dad caught me. I think thats cause we were always sort of fighting nearby. At a time when so much feels unex Kilpy Shes not going to hold their babies.. Kelly Corrigan:So, this was about all of these people calling me to say, I heard your friend died. You dont have to bring it all. Kelly reads everything from eulogies to retirement speeches and on February 19th, she . Find me online at @KateCBowler, and Id love to hear what you think of this episode. My mom called me maybe three months after my dad died. I think we should be talking about five percent of the time. Even the words left unsaid. We were living in Damascus, Syria, and whenever one of us asked for something Mom and Dad couldnt afford, Dad would say Allah Kareem. In Arabic, Allah means God. Kelly Corrigan:Sure, my pleasure. Okay, but Im just telling you those kids are waking up every day without her, and theyre going to keep being without her forever. I mean, maybe I was projecting, maybe whatever he said in that moment, maybe if he had said peanut butter, and jelly, wed be talking about peanut butter and jelly, but it totally resonated for me in the way that a song lyric does where youre like, I dont know what that means exactly, but Im going to write that down, and put it in my wallet, and its interesting. They hate it. Kate Bowler:Yeah. Thats the word. Kelly Corrigan Wonders: Michael Murray on the Social Science of Faith Im not sure where the bar is set at in normalcy though. Kate Bowler:Well, your book has such a wonderful collection of phrases around essays, stuff like Tell me more, and you write about incredible things people can say when theyre figuring out the road ahead.
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